Self Betrayal - A Gateway to the Heart

June 26, 2018

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies"

   (A Quote from the Betrayed)


If you have been on the path of the Heart then you will have experienced betrayal. It is the great hammer to the Heart, smashing you open and scattering the fragments into what can feel like the four furthest corners of the universe. Indeed, some fragments may require a great deal of questing and journeying to recover over many lifetimes. It can be a solitary journey, undertaken alone, unwitnessed and often in the silence of our own suffering. There is nothing like betrayal to make friends, family, acquaintances and communities scatter leaving nothing but dust behind them. People fear it, enemies seek it, dark and light forces lie in wait for the mechanism of doom to befall you. Anyone who has been around more than a few hundred lifetimes and has matured into an advanced multidimensional being will be on the edges of the dimension of the Heart and soon will fall prey to it. Betrayal is a great gifter of many things - Death, Rebirth, Destroyer of Trust, Destroyer of Deception, Opener and Closer of the Heart. It will definitely strike you and leave you cold until you can find a way to restore yourself again to Love. 


I have heard people say that there is no such thing as Betrayal and i have often wondered what they mean. In my experience betrayal can be one of the most devastating experiences we can endure in a human life. Heart break and loss of a loved one is up there with great amounts of pain but for me betrayal blows that all out of the water - it can be like nuclear weapon exploding in the Heart Matrix, sending ripples all through one’s energy system. It is the sort of devastation that many never recover from fully, not in one life, not in many. So what is it? I found a definition that says "Betrayal  is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict” which i found very heady and 'in the mind’. I would define betrayal, after personally experiencing it many times as the fracturing or breaking of the integrity of the heart energy causing spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological and physical distress. Betrayal goes against the flow of healthy heart energy and damages the ability of the heart to function openly and fully resulting in a closing and reducing of the heart energy within an individual. More precisely, in Chinese medicine we would see betrayal as affecting the Heart protector, responsible for trust, which function like protective doors opening and closing appropriately depending on a situation. Often the gates are open and trust has been granted, allowing an energy into the Heart space - so when one is betrayed, the Heart space has already been violated. 


As i enquire and investigate more into the nature of the Heart, betrayal comes up as a means for us to become aware of the value of Trust, Loyalty, Love and all the clean energetic qualities of an open loving heart. I have read that there is no such thing as betrayal and that we only betray ourselves and i ponder on this within this writing. I feel this is a good place to begin, as one thing i have learnt about life is that i have no influence or control over another’s actions and i can only work with my own, so when someone betrays me there is nothing i can do about it. All i have influence over is how i deal with it and what i learn from the experience. At this point i could list the very very long list of betrayals i have experienced in this life from small to very life shatteringly big. Indeed, when i experience another betrayal, no matter how small, it pricks on the wounding within my heart and never fails to feel like death, like all the betrayals clamouring for expression once again. Its easy to fall into a space of deathlike sadness or animal pain, as this is an attack on a broken fragmented Heart space and no one tells you about that in the fairytales, those people become the evil Queens like Maleficent or distortions of humanity - and this is EXACTLY why this is important in our journey to the 5th Dimension. 


As i have said before the 5th Dimension is the realm of the Heart and requires us to upgrade our consciousness into the Heart chakra and Heart Matrix. Many Indigos, star seeds and Earth Angels are incarnated with the awareness of 5D, this is why they came to Earth, to bring the higher vibrations here to help Gaia in her ascension process. Unfortunately, due to the distortions in the 3D density, many have found it very hard to survive down here and maintain an open Heart. Many have been damaged and have had to close the Heart or operate outside of the Heart space to just be able to make it through each day. It is very complicated and my work has been focusing on clearing, repairing and rebuilding the Heart Matrix structure to allow the return to the flow of unconditional Love. This is going to be a slow journey and i realise now that i will be working this myself for the rest of my life as we upgrade and refine frequencies through our Hearts and bringing them into alignment with the frequencies of the 5th Dimension, which may take many thousands of years. We are all part of a galactic tapestry weaving the cosmic Heart energy through our solar system and beyond, this is all part of a much larger piece of multiversal healing. 


Through examination of the aspects of my own betrayals, i have begun to pick up the threads linking betrayal and self-betrayal. I mostly reached there through the victim aspect of myself asking “Why is this happening to me?”, which brings up my personal truths around attracting similar energy through the Law of Attraction, Karma and personal evolvement. Self-betrayal stuck out like i was being hit in the head with it and it seemed like a good place to begin as myself is my only business - thats the only place my head needs to be really, to clean my garden within - to retune my damaged instrument of self so i can attract something better. 


I began to look at my experiences  and i noticed a few similarities - there was always times in the beginning of an experience, when times were good, that i had flashes, small mind beeps, strange feelings that i disregarded. If i discounted these feelings i would then get a stronger more physical example coming to me - like an experience showing me more overtly but this time i would ask the individual directly about it - looking for truth but often i got a brush off, denial or a lie. Sometimes i would be told i was making it up, i think this is like gas-lighting and believe me - this behaviour goes on so much more often than you would think in the 3D. It is short road to long-term madness and i feel thats why we are all in such a mess in our world at the moment - but thats another blog subject entirely - i am amazed if you are still reading as it is! The final patterns of the experience usually have a long or short period of decline ending in an explosion of some kind - where the truth is outed and comes to light or my feelings become so insistent that something is wrong, i look like i might be sabotaging a relationship or situation. This is very interesting and i would love to know if more people experience this feeling of sabotage - as i still work to understand if it is my ally or my internal trickster. But we all need to remember that this is all a journey of the Heart and there are many facets of understanding to forgo. 


The first steps of betrayal are actually the only ones of importance, as the others are like louder echoes of the first and all of them are just like warnings from ourselves that something is not right. After the initial ones have been discounted they just get louder and more extreme, i think to show us how deep our self deception and mistrust of self actually is. My mistrust of myself must have been very deep indeed and there are many reasons for that - which i will cover in another blog because they are about the energetic set up in the 3D matrix and links into mind control and infection through the dark masculine and dark feminine within the old Earth Matrix - its a complicated subject - so it requires time to describe. 


Essentially the experience of betrayal takes root in the mistrust of ourselves and our own feelings, signs and  nudges given to us by our bodies. When we ignore our feelings, we separate from self in a way that becomes detrimental to the Heart. Our Heart as Empress can only rule in sovereignty within us if her subjects listen to her wisdom. She is imparting the wisdom of our soul energy and the frequency of our star energy. If something is misaligned or disharmonious with our individual frequency then she will let us know by showing the disharmony on the body or through feelings/emotional disturbances. She will let us know! I have examined that in my experience and even though i had no conscious clue in my mind that something was up just before a betray occurred - my body knew and was trying to tell me. I even took the words of another individual blatantly lying over the feelings within my body as truth. No wonder i have needed to repeat this lesson over and over. I am a slow learner. 


The trouble with betrayal is that it erodes self trust, trust and an open Heart but it may have also been attracted to the fracture within the Heart, where one has not fully trusted oneself and one’s Heart. It is bizarre how the universal energy works and i am always amazed when apparent chaos is explained  by such clean energetic reflections. We mirror ourselves and the world mirrors us too. What a strange and wonderful place this is. 


If one is experiencing betrayals then i would encourage you to listen very carefully to your feelings and act upon any that are showing you that this person or situation is out of alignment with your frequency. I say it like this because one frequency may suit one person but not be right for another. Create an intimate love relationship with your Heart and make it your greatest lover. Your love energy, trust, loyalty, respect will become the foundation of your life. As i have got better at noticing my signs, i have become quicker at recognising when a situation as not right for me and would no doubt end in disaster, betrayal and pain. I have become adept at side stepping and manoeuvring out of potential disasters, often leaving people bemused and sometimes angry that i wasn’t playing the game they wanted to play. It takes a great amount of trust in myself to do that - to listen to the signs and say goodbye at the early stages, as often the early stages are the best and the most enjoyable - they are also the most illuminating if you pay attention to the signs presented to you. 


One of the reasons i chose to write this blog and illuminate this issue is because i would like to encourage Indigos, Star seeds and Earth Angels to listen to their Heart energy. Ascension into the 5D requires us to unplug from the 3D and extract ourselves from abusive relationship dynamics that seek to exploit and control your energy. You may be surprised how many of your relationships have been draining your energy and pulling down your frequency levels. You are not here to be a energy battery to others or a punch bag for people who do not wish to take responsibility for their thoughts and actions. You came here to be a bright shining receptor of light energy and to shine and shimmer in your joy. 


Cleaning up your Heart energy and repairing your Heart matrix allows you to step into the 5th Dimension. You will shine brighter and attract more of your soul frequency in to your life. You will begin to attract people who resonate with your Heart energy. You will begin to identify the energy vampires and parasitic situations present in the 3D and learn how to stay away from them. A happy open Heart will allow you to operate in your joy, vibrating your star energy in your life. Once you have learned the lessons of self betrayal ,  you will resolve the problem of attracting people that betray you. This is the path of the Heart, where you return and become illuminated. 


I wish you all unconditional love on your journey


Lightness of Being


Natasha Astara 




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